English-Language Arts Network

Defenceless by Ken Kalman

A monologue play for a 14 year old girl

Characters:

Stella David, a 14 year old girl

Jessie, her friend

June, her younger sister aged 11

Mrs. Green, a teacher

Place: Suburban Montreal
Time: The Present

• Scene One: Early Morning at Home
• Scene Two: A Walk after Lunch
• Scene Three: The Bus Home at Night

SCENE ONE

As the play begins it is the early morning of Stella's final day on earth.

STELLA: (in nightgown)

Is it morning already? Why do I still feel so tired? I remember I was studying for that History test last night, nodding off a few times. All those dates and crazy events. Who really cares about all that? I certainly don't. Mr. Spencer, my history teacher, God, he's such a doll. That takes me away from this stupid course. I can stare at him all day long. I shouldn't be of course, daydreaming and all that. He says that history always repeats itself. Sometimes he talks of present day things to make his point. That's when I do pay attention. But all this History crap. God knows why we need to know that Napoleon conquered Europe. Or King Henry killed his wives cause they couldn't give him a male heir. For God's sake who gives a damn?

The other day he told us about this couple in Illinois who made a suicide pact. They were what, 14 years old? How could they be a couple already? Well I guess Romeo and Juliet were young when they fell in love. But anyway I guess he was trying to dispel all our fears, cause you know so many of my friends and classmates are coupling up. God why do they need to do this so soon? Well I mean Jessie and I, well we aren't a couple but like we do go out together sometimes. Well these kids in Illinois, they wrote this pact and then well one of them the boy did it; he killed himself by throwing himself in front of a bus. And the other, the girl, his girlfriend, well she couldn't go through with it. I guess what he's saying is that it's not so easy to commit suicide, even for love or desperation or whatever.

The thing is if I ever fall in love, well you know what I mean, I just don't think Mom will tell me that I can't be with him; it's just not like that here. So why did he talk about it? Why did dreamy old Mr. Spencer say anything at all about it? You should have seen the class after he spoke. He asked for questions or comments. There was silence. Cold dark silence. We don't want to talk about such things even if they might go through our minds. They say that if you keep things bottled up inside too long, it'll make you crazy. Then one day you'll just burst, without thinking of the consequences. But hey, that's not me. But could it be someone else I know?

(Long Pause)

Oh, I guess I should get ready for school. (walks behind a screen as she talks, throwing her top over the screen) God I've nothing to wear. Mom never washes any of my clothes on time. That's another thing. Do I need to get caught up in all this school angst? Do I need to top all the others with a new outlandish outfit? Sometimes I wish we had a dress code. That would be so easy? You know Grandma told me that when she was young, God, you know what she wore? A tunic, a navy blue tunic. God. And bloomers, navy blue bloomers. She had just two sets. That's it for the whole bloody year. That's not me though. I couldn't be tied down to that. I like my short skirts. I love to let the boys see my legs. It keeps them looking, and wondering. I'm not a slut but I still like it. Hey, I caught Mr. Allen looking too. Oh he was subtle but I saw him. You know how I could tell? You do, don't you? I gradually opened my legs, so he could see my panties, and you know what I saw? His eyes began to light up. I wonder if the other students saw it too. Well I'm not a bad girl; it was just that one time. But it happened. He's older, Mr. Allen is. Does that make it worse? Guys should be able to look. Like I say I'm not a bad girl. But just that once it was real kewl to watch him.

But enough of that. This'll get them. (emerges in jeans and a low-cut top) You think they can imagine what's underneath? Well I don't have that much up here yet, but you know I can make it so it's hard to tell. Clothes are such a battleground. Mom says she's got to dress two of us. There's June, my younger sister. She's a tween. I guess that means she needs it more than me. Every time we go shopping, it's June this or June that. You'd think I'd count too. ‘She's growing faster,' Mom says. And here I am stuck in this body. Am I going to grow any more? Who knows? I hope I get more up top but it's highly doubtful. So Mom doesn't buy me much. Says I have enough. I guess I need to get a job so I can afford to buy my own things. Twenty dollars allowance a week doesn't go very far. You go to the movies and have a soda and it's all gone. Oh I baby-sat a few times for our neighbour, Mrs. Wallace. Her boys are a bit rough though. Even at seven and nine they already know about a girl's tits. And when I try to control them sometimes, well you know, they grab for them. So I told her I don't want to baby-sit them anymore. Something'll come up. I just know it. This afternoon I'm supposed to stay with Mrs. Tremblay's two girls until like 6:30. She's Mom's friend. Mom arranged it. But she lives near my old elementary school. I'll need to take the bus there and home. God I hate taking the bus at night. It's so damn dark. And it's supposed to rain tonight. Anyway that's later. (puts a few books in her knapsack and starts to leave stage, then stops)

I just remembered I've got to meet Mrs. Green, my English teacher, before class. I wonder what she wants. I know my last essay wasn't up to scratch. She tells me to be more patient when I write, to do my research. But you know there's always a time crunch. I know I can do better. God, I hope she's not going to fail me. Oh God. What if that's it? What will Mom say? She'd be so mad!

Calm yourself, Stella. Take a deep breath. That's better isn't it? It'll be okay. Everything will be okay.

Stage darkens.

SCENE TWO

Lunch Time

STELLA:

I always eat quickly at lunchtime so I've got time to go for a walk. These solitary walks, I love them. Like anyone else would want to come and listen to my ramblings. Still it clears my mind. It makes me feel good. And sometimes I really need it.

That was quite a morning. You want to hear about it, don't you? That Mrs. Green is something else. She's got a lot of nerve. Telling me my essay wasn't just bad, it was horrible. Like I didn't know. I have to rewrite it. Tonight. I already have a million things to do. She made it quite clear. Improve the essay or probably fail the course. It's just one bloody essay. And now she tells me my years work in class and my written stuff, it all sucks. Well that's not the word she used. What'll I do? I can't repeat the whole year, because of one damn essay. That would really suck. I know. I'll get home early and spend the whole evening on it. I'll show her I can do it.

After that rough start I headed to my first class, Mr. Gemini's Math Class. What a joke that class is. He was up at the blackboard busy showing us the solution to some math problem when it started. Josh threw something at Linda. I think he has a thing for her. Well she looked back all googly-eyed. Mr. Gemini turned around and saw it. That's when some other guys started throwing things as well. Before I knew it everyone was doing it. Mr. Gemini yelled, “STOP!” At that moment you could have heard a pin drop.

Next we had Mrs. Green's class. She decided to suspend the regular curriculum so she could talk to us.

MRS. GREEN:

Class, something has happened and we need to discuss it. Some of you may already know about it. It's a really quite a serious matter.

STELLA:

I can just imagine. Some fight in the schoolyard or something. It's always happening.

MRS. GREEN:

It's something you all have to consider in your young lives. It's not all bad I suppose, but it certainly is serious.

STELLA:

Oh just get on with it already.

MRS. GREEN:

You all know Tamara, Tamara Shilling. Well she won't be coming to classes anymore, not this year any ways. Tamara participated in unprotected sex. She got pregnant. And her parents have convinced her to keep the baby. Our School Board doesn't allow pregnant teenagers to attend classes. So she'll need to repeat the year, unless she can manage to do the rest of this year at home. The problem is we've provided you here at Lindsay with sex-ed classes, which I know most of you consider a joke. But this, this is no joking matter. I can't stop you from having sex, but please protect yourselves with condoms. Please.

STELLA:

After he dissertation the class went on to have a discussion. It was not at all like the suicide silence. Mostly everyone wanted to know why Tamara couldn't attend classes. I can't personally understand why they make up such stupid rules. Who are they protecting? Or is it just a punishment? Yes that's it. But why are they just punishing her? Doesn't the boy deserve it just as much? God, what hypocrites the School Board is. But then women have always been second class citizens. In Business. In Religion. In Life. Hey, don't get me started on that.

Life sure sucks if you're a woman. We read about all that Muslim stuff. Putting their women under veils, not allowing them to even go to school. I remember the whole to do about Ashrah last year. The School Board wants to ban the veils and such. Ashrah says she wants to wear it. They say she's being forced to wear it. Where will it ever end?

And then there's the Pope. I know we‘re supposed to talk well of Him. He's so willing to talk with the leaders of other religions; make peace with them, the Jews, the Muslims, whatever. But when it comes to Women in the Church. A resounding NO! God religion sucks.

And Business is no better. Two standards; one for men, another for women. Men get away with murder. Oh God, I just want to die!

(Long Pause)

Well of course not. I don't want to die. It's just a figure of speech. Of course I want to live. You're making me hyper, getting me to talk about all this. Anyway let's just leave it alone. There's certainly plenty of bias and poor Tamara is their sacrificial lamb.

I'm not looking forward to meeting Jessie after school. I don't really know why. Last night was so good. I know. Today is a school day. I know I shouldn't have gone out. But he called. He wanted to take me out, ME OUT. He took me to a movie. We don't go to movies much, so I felt it was a special night. I was feeling tingly as he picked me up. You know Mom. ‘Don't keep her out to late', she said. It was a warm spring evening so I put on a nice skirt. Jessie likes to see me in skirts. He just got his licence and his Dad let him use the car. It was like a real date. You know in the movies, romantic and such. During the movie he kissed me, but I told him I wanted to watch. He was nice. I know lots of couples spend the whole movie making out. It wasn't that I don't like him. I really did want to watch. He did kiss me a few more times, and I let him feel my breasts on the outside, but he was quite respectful. He let me watch. I like that a lot.

After the movie we went to MacDonalds' and had a coke and fries. We chatted a bit about things. You know. He's on the track team. They have a meet next weekend. He wanted to know if I'd come and watch. I told him I'd try. It was fun just chatting. I like Jessie. His dad's a lawyer. I think that's what he wants to be too. We always get along just fine.

After MacDonalds' we got in the car and drove a bit. He asked if we could stop. I knew what he meant. And I wanted to kiss him some more. So we did. It started so innocent like. Just kissing and touching a bit. I know what guys want so I rubbed him there. I got him hard so easily. I got really aroused. And before I knew it he was on top of me. Not that I didn't want it. Is a girl ever ready? And Jessie is a hot guy. And here I was. I enjoyed it, the kisses, the thrusts inside me. Oh God, what was I thinking? And then it happened. He spurted inside me and I felt so much like a woman, you can't imagine. Oh it was wonderful and terrible all at once. I got carried away with the moment. I kissed him some more after that and he was all cuddly and such. A real boyfriend. A real date. Oh I feel so much in love. So why am I so hesitant to meet him after school? I don't know.

Well it's time to get back to class.

Stage darkens.

SCENE THREE

LATER THAT DAY Stella is riding the bus home.

STELLA:

I don't know what to do. It's getting very late. Mrs. Tremblay, I told her I needed to get home early. I know she tried. It was almost seven when she arrived. Not that I minded baby-sitting. Her girls are lovely. Angelique is so cute. She reminds me a bit of June when she was seven. Cute and innocent and just so happy. Not the bitch June has turned into at all. God why couldn't June stay like that. No wonder Mom caters to her. It's just easier. And Monique, I just love her. She talks so cute for a five-year old. She mixes up words, you know French and English. They're a mixed family. Mrs. Tremblay is so English you could die. And her husband is from a fine French family. I think they met at university. That's where Mom met Constance. Constance Elizabeth Brown, now Tremblay. I like sitting for her even though it so far away.

Oh God, I wish this bus would speed up. I need to get home. I guess he's driving slower because of the rain. It's pouring cats and dogs. God I hope it stops before I have to get off. Mom's not going to be happy. I promised to help her with some cleaning and other chores. And now I've got this essay to do. How am I going to do it all? What do I really know about the Far East anyway, about the emergence of China? I should have told Mrs. Green that it would take a few days. Why did I let her convince me to do it tonight?

China. I'm sick of hearing about it. We're all losing because of it. That's why Mom and Dad split up. Because Dad lost his job. All because of God-damned China. I wish Dad would grow up. There has to be something he can do. I guess I'm lucky Mom's doing so well teaching at CEGEP. God, I don't know squat about China. Maybe I should write about what it's doing to us. How it breaks up a family. I'm sure I can do something.

That Jessie was something else this afternoon. He met me after class, just like he said. I thought he was going to walk me home. He told me he wanted to go to a café and have a chat. So I went. He got us two cappuccinos. I told him there wasn't much time. I needed to get to Mrs. Tremblay's. That's when he sprung it. He told me that it was all just a big mistake, what happened last night. How can that be?

JESSIE:

Look Stell, I'm sorry. I got carried away. You seemed to be enjoying it, so I didn't want to stop. I know I should have. You're only 14, Stell.

STELLA:

Well, your only 16.

JESSIE:

Going to be 17. I'll be in CEGEP next year.

STELLA:

I know. It's okay, really it is.

JESSIE:

You won't tell anybody. Please.

STELLA:

What do you mean?

JESSIE:

If it gets around. I don't know.

STELLA:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Jessie, just tell me. That's when it came out. He's going out with this girl from his class, Angela Thompson. My heart sunk. She's his girlfriend. So what am I? Oh God. I left him there. I didn't know what to do. But I needed to get to Mrs. Tremblay's. I was pretty distraught. I thought of calling her. No, I couldn't do that. I'm not that kind of person. So I went. And it was fine until she got back late and here I am and it's so dark. It's still raining so hard. Oh God. What am I going to do? Why do I get myself in these situations?

There's something else. I hesitate to think about it. What if I'm pregnant? Like Tamara. Oh God. I don't want to think about it. I've just got to get home and help Mom. There's my stop coming up ahead. Can't it just stop raining? CAN'T IT JUST STOP RAINING? Please God. Stop the raining.

The stage darkens.

NEWS REPORTER: (VOICE OVER)

At about 7:30 this evening a West Island teenager, Stella David, was killed when she was hit by a motorist while trying to cross Sources Blvd. It was raining very hard and it was dark. The motorist says he didn't see her until it was too late.

Discussion Items For GROUP after the play

1. What do you think happened at end of this play?
2. What should you do if you feel defenceless?
3. Do you know someone is this situation?
4. How do anxieties build in teenagers and how might they release them?
5. What steps should people take to help?
   1. Your Parents
   2. Your Friends
   3. Your School
   4. Your School Board
   5. Your Town or City
6. How would you know if you were Stella?